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GUESS WHO’S BACK?

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Last updated on April 6th, 2017 at 11:21 am

Here I amHere I am! Did you miss me? Did you cry for me in Argentina? Or in the corner of a crowded party? Did you hug your pillow every night hoping, better yet – praying, that this blog would start writing and maintaining itself?

I know I did.

Since I started my hiatus – my favorite word in the entire megaverse – I was checking this blog almost daily. Let me just see, maybe something happened there. I was expecting, someone to continue on with the legacy – “Here, I pass the torch to you, take it and write awesome posts with it here”.

But no posts, no pics, no recipes, no leftover-makeovers. Just some strange comments marked as spam, saying how amazing this blog is. Well what you call spam I call undeniable truth.

My little hiatus showed me that if it’s not for me, this place will crash and burn. Seriously, it’s just me? I can write whatever I want? Your ears fart and it smells like oil refinery.

Ooough that felt good to get off my chest.

And what’s my excuse?

During my time off at Beauty Bites – the best bites EVERRRRRRRRRR- I was on 2 vacations, was also working in another city, went through some ups and downs, but bottom line: I was eating a lot crap, not cooking anything, not doing any sports aaaand I looked quite pregnant on the beach. 5-6-months-in-ish. Even though I wasn’t.

It was not the first time in my life someone asked me whether or not I was pregnant when I wasn’t. But this time I didn’t bother getting embarrassed, sad, mad or excited about all the attention. I didn’t bother justifying or bragging about my growing belly to some strangers. I just said with a little wink: “Yes, I am pregnant, but I don’t know who the father is…”.

Those people must’ve been thinking – “A dream beach body, a baby inside and a sparkling personality? I guess some of us can have it all.” I’m just assuming that’s the impression people get from me, when they meet me. It’s pretty realistic.

A little update on my bad eating behaviour

I ate meat for the first time after six months when I was traveling for work. Vegetarian and fishy options were practically non-existent in the “restaurant” where we had lunch every day. For the first time in my life I saw a cook in the desperate need to prepare sauerkraut with bacon and to overcook and drown every other vegetable in animal fat. I could tell from the first bite – that guy hated vegans, pigs, cows, rabbits, dogs, cats, tigers, elephants, foreigners, himself…because that was an evil combo.

While eating that apocalyptic combo I started thinking that vegans and vegetarians are not just pretentious party poopers with eating disorders in denial that they need meat. I was so disappointed in myself – I didn’t want to eat meat after 6 months restriction! Just to paint you a picture how strange this was to me – I’m pretty sure I’ve been breastfed with steaks and chicken thighs. I’ve always loved meat. Sure I’ve tried to eat less in the past, but I was never able to stop eating meat altogether. When I stop eating meat for a week – I would just eat a ton of meat the next week to balance it out. Not this time folks. This carnivore is filing for a well deserved retirement. No more chickens, pigs, beef or bacon in sauerkraut. Or other animals.

Don’t get me wrong, to me meat still tastes good. And I mean GOOD, but I just don’t crave it anymore and I’m happy eating some rabbit food that’s a lot healthier. That’s what I’m craving now, while sleeping with my eyes open and growing longer furrier ears.

One thing that I regret more than eating sauerkraut with bacon is drinking a lot of coffee. Coffee here, coffee there, breakfast, lunch, dinner, after midnight snack… I could drink that cup of dirty water any day, any hour, any minute. I could just inhale it, without even getting a little shaky or insomniac. Sometimes I didn’t even want to drink it. It had become a habit and I didn’t want to get rid of that habit.

Right now, I’m grateful for that much coffee, because I hate it. I can honestly say I hate something, look at me all hateful and mean. I don’t care how many studies there are that say coffee is good for you – coffee gives me a head ache, I get dehydrated and a little paranoid. Besides it gives me cellulite, wrinkles and it’s super bitter if I don’t drink it with 4 liters milk and 3 spoons of sugar. Coffee and I can never be just friends, so we’ll have to separate forever.

Those will be some tough winter months with tea.

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