Last updated on September 29th, 2019 at 10:44 pm
Today I’m sharing some tips on how to be more positive, even when everyone around you is negative – complaining, judging or blaming.
Growing up I wasn’t raised in the most positive environment. Everybody around me was fighting about something. My parents, my grandparents, my teachers, even my friends at kinder garden and school.
Somehow though I always remained calm and had peace in my heart that everything was going to be good. I think it came from spending a lot of time in nature and knowing good things will happen, even if they’re not good right now. I knew that every moment is temporary, even as a kid.
So today I want to talk about staying positive, especially when you’re surrounded by negative people and life’s stressful. First let’s start with what it actually means to be positive, at least in my opinion. I’m not a dictionary.
You Don’t Have To Always Be Happy
Being positive doesn’t mean you need to always be happy and smiling and nice. In this scenario you’re not positive, you’re fake. Even to yourself. And you’re probably ignoring something you shouldn’t.
Being positive means knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way. It means taking action on the things you want to do and knowing that they’ll happen.
It also means having an adequate reaction to what is happening to you. Being positive does not mean letting people walk all over you. So when somebody does you wrong you don’t just stay there, smile and be positive. You fight for your rights (to paaaarty). For justice. But in a more calm and diplomatic way, because you know you’re going to get what you want and what you deserve.
Maintaining a good attitude and not letting others eliminate who you truly are and what you believe is possible, takes a lot of mental effort sometimes. But it’s so worth the effort, it shouldn’t be ignored.
How To Be Positive When Everyone Is Negative
1. Find Something You Love
Find something you love, a goal, a dream, and work on it. Something that excites you and makes you daydream. Something that makes you want to get up in the morning and work on it. Maybe it’s making music, maybe it’s writing, maybe it’s cooking or taking pictures. Being creative in ANY kinda way.
Today you have so many opportunities to develop the skills you want and to offer them to the world. It’s almost unreal. Honor the time we live in and don’t miss out. Whatever is going on in your life, make sure to do something for yourself.
You’re going to separate with a lot of people throughout life. So people shouldn’t be something that defines you and your happiness. Build something that nobody can take away from you.
Negative people around you can be making fun of you for having a dream, for wanting to eat healthy, for wanting to sing, even for washing your hair and wanting more from life. No need to share your plans or get approval. Know everything is possible. All you need is to try.
For me, even with starting this blog a few years ago almost everyone around me was like “Why?”. Making fun of me and telling me I was wasting my time and it was stupid. But you know what? You work on what you want, you stay consistent (or in my case – semi-consistent) and things grow. You grow.
When you’re busy having your own exciting projects, there’s no way you’ll be negative for too long. Even if there are struggles, you’re working on something you want. Something that can make you feel proud, accomplished and will give you peace.
2. Remind Yourself Of The Good In Life
When you’re around negative people what they actually do is remind you of the bad things in their own life or in the world. They find obstacles for everything, not solutions.
But, when you start expressing gratitude regularly for what is right in your own life and see the beauty in the world, you become more positive. You understand that you can find a solution to anything as long as you’re willing to look for it and see it.
3. Watch Others Less
If a story you read or watched inspired you, take action right away. Don’t read story after story after story, because you want more of that inspiration to push you to do the things you want to do.
“I just need a little more courage and proof that this will work.”
Instead, spend time on your own, think and act on what you want to do. Even if it’s not perfect, keep trying and you’ll get really really good at it over time.
Do not compare yourself to others, do you.
Watching the news…If you do watch them and feel insecure where this world is going – turn the TV off and look around. Is everything good around you? Probably yes, if you’re reading this. Then get curious. What can you do to help with the situation you’re worried about? Maybe volunteer, maybe pray, even if it’s a small act – do it.
4. Be Disciplined About The Things That Make You Happy
Don’t ignore the walk in the park or talking to a friendly old lady in the supermarket, looking at or petting animals, eating right, doing yoga or allowing yourself to indulge every now and then.
Take care of yourself. Making yourself happy intentionally is key to staying positive.
If you don’t, at some point you’ll probably start feeling like everyone is eating your time, using you and you’ll blame yourself and others for not doing what you want to do with your life.
When you take care of yourself first you’ll get to a more peaceful state. That’s why I find it so important to wake up a little earlier and to have a morning routine, where I’m only doing things for me. When you have this me-time, you can approach the entire day with a positive attitude.
5. Everything Has Potential
Every moment, every person you meet, everything you do has potential. Potential to be better. So try to make the best of every moment, put your best effort in everything you do and see the best in people – don’t focus on their negative traits. Nobody’s perfect.
6. Nothing Is Eternal Or Eternally The Same.
Everything passes, so this situation, the negative one, it will pass. A new one will come, it will pass as well. Welcome every day with calmness, knowing that different times are coming. Even if it’s hard sometimes. Take it one day at a time and make it a point to do your very best each day.
Also, know you can make a bad day better. People say you can tell a day from the morning (or something like that) and I used to believe it as well. But I don’t anymore. Because whenever I decide I want to make this day a beautiful thing at 6 pm I just do it.
I think of all the things I wanted to achieve and I start, even if do just one. That’s enough. That’s good for a bad day.
So if your boss ruined your day today, when you get home – forget about it and do something that can make you happy. That can make you say. “You know what, that guy doesn’t matter, I’ll be ok, life is good.”
7. Look For Inspiration
While I do not believe you need to numb things happening to you by watching comedy shows or listening to motivational podcasts, sometimes these things can be helpful when you’re lost or stressed. Especially when everyone around you is negative and you need some motivation. As I said don’t overdo it.
8. Hard Times Are Opportunities
Opportunities for what? To feel horrible?
No. Hard times give you opportunities to grow, to learn something nobody can explain. To develop not only thicker skin but also more empathy.
Take your time and use these opportunities to learn something about yourself. Something you didn’t even expect. Even if it’s a part you don’t think you love right now. It’s cheesy, but everything happens for a reason and that saying is all you need to know to move on.
9. Make Space For New.
New people, new hobbies, new habits. Life is all about new. Don’t try to stop it by holding on to things from the past. I read this quote the other day that I really liked:
The truth is, life isn’t waiting and you shouldn’t be either. Make plans and dare to be spontaneous. Be open to new things, even the uncomfortable ones. Soon you’ll start seeing yourself differently.
You’ll become braver and you’ll grow as a person. We grow from new experiences, not from repeating old ones over and over again.
10. Get Away From It All
Maybe it’s an hour, maybe it’s a day. When things get tough, take a step back, take a little walk (any place with some trees and grass will do) and remember the essentials…
There are very few things you need to be able to continue your life – your body, and then earth wind and fire somehow forgot about water, but that too. So if you’ve got the essentials, you’re good. Remember that.
11. Have Empathy For Negative People
Sometimes, it’s people we love who get negative, complain a lot, judge and blame. Mostly they’re in a more overwhelming situation and need some help.
Okay, disclaimer: some people appear to just be sadistic psychopaths and they’re not really worth thinking about or engaging with. They just want to drag you along and drown you in their own misery. Sharing is caring, right?
Where I always go wrong with negative people, who are dear to my heart is that I would always give them advice. Advice they’ve actually heard, know and didn’t ask for. And don’t want to hear.
Other times I would judge them and tell them “well, you’re so negative, you complain so much.” Of course, that’s the last thing people want to hear.
What helps me cope when someone I love is negative, and what helps them, is I try to look at things from their perspective.
If I was in their shoes, would I want to hear ANY advice? Especially from people who haven’t been through the exact same thing.
Of course not. We all have our dignity and just because I’m in a better situation right now doesn’t mean a thing. Everything is temporary after all, my situation might also change. The last thing I would want to do is listen to someone preaching.
What I would actually need is someone to distract me and help me take some initial action. Get me involved in something fun, something important, something worth doing. Maybe by gifting a book, maybe by going together on a day trip. Stay positive by lifting someone else up.
Don’t focus on the people around you, focus on your own actions and make yourself proud.